Monday, December 22, 2008

The Twelve Days of Christmas


(To be sung in the Traditional Manner, with a

Hearty Voice and Appetite!)


...On the eleventh day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me;

Eleven full length mirrors,

Ten sunbed sessions,

Nine Jenny Craig meals,

Eight aerobic outfits,

Six abdominisers,

Five di-et plans


(pause and take a breath)


Four exercycles,

Three quarts of fake tan,

Two body scrubs,

Leg wax and a bi-ki-ni.


On the twelfth day of Christmas,

With the tact he'd just shown me;

I stuffed my true love with the tu-ur-key!


Merry Eating and Drinking to one and all, and may the recession recede as fast as the Pinot Gris.


3 comments:

fleance (aka TK Roxborogh) said...

I'm not sure if you're interested in this but my darling students have set up a blog so that they can discuss the book as I'm writing it. It is so amazing to have a group of amazing readers so enthused with Banquo's son and they have just picked over the last 15 chapters. So astute - talk about writing for exactly what they will read. Those who write for YA and children might be interested in following their responses, so, Fifi, I'm doing a bit of self promotion. Not sure if a book has ever been written this way before. So, instead of following your advice in the song, I've got head down and am writing.
http://banquosson.blogspot.com
Look forward to you visiting.

Fifi Colston said...

Mmmm. nice stuff Tania-this is one exciting new year in your life and I'm loving the cover design so far but the sound of the young mans face and castle seems like it would raw the audience more. You may need to switch comments allowed on your settings because I can't seem to bring up a comments box on the blog.
x Fi

Jan Van Dvivenvoorde said...

Purchase not friends by gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to love. Very interesting work.

nice post and thanks for sharing...